Article 6: Every cup of milk tea you drink takes you one step further away from your crush.

Chapter Two: Weight Loss Has Risks; Act with Caution

If you want to lose weight successfully and maintain your results in the long term, you must respect your body and accept your imperfections from the very beginning.

Every cup of milk tea you drink takes you one step further away from your crush.

Many people struggle to maintain their weight loss efforts, often working on it only sporadically. In my opinion, any weight loss attempt that cannot be sustained is a sham. In this section, I will introduce a series of psychological techniques to help you maintain your motivation and break free from dependence on willpower.

I'd like to start with a short exercise to explore your motivations for losing weight. I'm sure you have your own story about it. This exercise requires you to take notes; if you have paper and pen, that would be best, but typing on your phone is also fine. If possible, I hope you can find a quiet place, a comfortable corner, to do this exercise.

Next, take three minutes to seriously ask yourself a question: Why am I trying to lose weight? What was my initial motivation for losing weight? Please write down at least three reasons why you want to lose weight on a piece of paper.

Next, take three minutes to ask yourself the following questions: What kind of scenario would make me most likely to give up my weight loss plan? What are the biggest challenges and temptations in my weight loss process? Please describe in detail what such a scenario would be like on a piece of paper. For example, some people might be most afraid of buffets, some people might be most unable to resist the temptation of sweets, and some people might be afraid of the heat and not want to go out to exercise.

Next, please make sure you are in a quiet and comfortable state. Close your eyes, place your feet flat on the floor, and keep your posture upright. Now take a deep breath: inhale deeply, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5; exhale deeply, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Take another deep breath, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5; 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

Imagine yourself in the scenario you described above-the most challenging and tempting part of your weight loss journey. Imagine the details, the more the better. For example, where you are, what you are doing, who you are with, what the environment is like, how you feel, what temptations you are facing, and what you are thinking. Then remind yourself of the three reasons for weight loss you mentioned earlier.

Now ask yourself: In this scenario, how effective will my weight loss motivation be in my final decision? If I remind myself of my initial goal to lose weight, can I say "no" to temptation? If your answer is: My weight loss motivation is strong enough to help me resist temptation, then congratulations, please keep it up. But I believe that for many people, the answer might be: No, in the face of temptation, my weight loss motivation becomes pale and powerless. Either I haven't even had time to remind myself before I've already started to slack off or overeat; or I've reminded myself, but I still can't control myself.

Why can't you lose weight even though you want to? This requires examining your motivations for weight loss. Are they superficial or deep-seated? Are they broad or more specific? Are they closely linked to your values, lifestyle, and worldview?

For example, in my clinical practice, I've encountered many patients with binge eating disorders. When I ask them the same questions, I find their answers generally fall into two categories. The first category is broad, superficial motivations for weight loss, such as: "I want to look better," or "I want to be more popular." The second category is very specific and deep-seated motivations for weight loss, such as: "My high cholesterol and high blood sugar prevent me from getting pregnant and having children"; "I want to live a healthier and longer life to spend more time with my family"; "I want to be a good role model for my children and help them develop healthy lifestyle habits." Have you noticed? The second type of motivation is generally closely linked to their values ​​and beliefs, such as valuing time with family and wanting to be good parents. Interestingly, people with the second type of motivation for weight loss tend to achieve better results, while those with the first type of motivation mostly give up halfway. This shows that motivation has a significant impact on the success of weight loss.

This is not only my personal experience, but has also been confirmed by research. For example, one study taught various weight loss methods to half of the obese patients, but did not address their motivations for weight loss; while the other half not only learned weight loss methods but also had their motivations reinforced, such as linking weight loss to long-term life goals. Interestingly, the latter group of patients were significantly more successful at losing weight than the former. (West, [et.al](et.al)., 2011) Another study observed a group of obese patients over a long period. They all adopted the same weight loss treatment plan, the only difference being their motivations-some were losing weight for appearance, while others were losing weight for health. The study found that their weight loss results also varied greatly. (Kalarchian, et. al., 2011)

Why do different motivations generate such different levels of drive? How can you win the first battle of weight loss by focusing on motivation?

Successful weight loss requires more than just motivation; it requires deeper motivation that aligns with our values ​​and life goals. The reason is simple: we all possess certain deep-seated motivations. For example, we may have long-term life goals such as family, career, love, and health; or we may have values ​​we highly value, such as diligence, contentment, self-discipline, and positivity. These motivations permeate our daily lives, inspiring us to persevere when faced with difficulties and setbacks.

In your life, you must have encountered many difficulties. When you reached your darkest, most desperate, and most helpless moments, what motivated you to keep going? What dream kept you from giving up? These motivations are the most powerful forces in our lives, and the strengths we can rely on most. If we can connect weight loss with these deepest motivations-that is, directly link weight loss with your life goals and values-weight loss can become an indispensable part of your life. In this way, when faced with temptations and challenges, you will be more likely to awaken your initial motivation for weight loss and encourage yourself to make more rational choices.

For example, you firmly believe in the principle of "heaven rewards diligence," "you reap what you sow," and that only self-disciplined people can achieve success. In this case, unrestrained eating contradicts your values, and this might be your strongest motivation for weight loss. No one wants to live a life where they say one thing and do another; everyone hopes to act and treat others according to their values ​​every day. Does obesity contradict your values?

Before you start losing weight, I hope you will ask yourself: What is your deepest motivation in life? How is weight loss related to your long-term life goals? Does obesity conflict with your values?

Once you've identified your underlying motivations for losing weight, write them down on a small piece of paper and carry it with you, or even set it as your phone's wallpaper. In the days to come, when you encounter temptations and challenges, or when your resolve begins to waver, take out this small piece of paper, read your weight loss motivation, and then decide what to do.

Homework

1. Please answer the following questions in writing: What is the deepest motivation in your life? How is weight loss related to your long-term life goals? Does obesity conflict with your values?

2. Please record at least three underlying motivations for achieving a healthy lifestyle.

3. Write these deeper motivations on a small piece of paper and carry it with you in your wallet or on your phone. When your resolve wavers, reread the deeper motivations you wrote down.